#Loveyourbodyweek Reflections: 10 Ways to Love Your Body and Build an Unwavering Relationship With Yourself

Over the years I have had a very turbulent and unhelpful relationship with my body at (a lot of) times.  I have put her through hell, abused her, punished her, loathed her and treated her like some kind of enemy who was single-handedly preventing me from reaching my potential.  I’ve seen her as a beacon for bullying and unwanted advances, a lumpy, bumpy, scar-covered ball of clumsiness and a contributor-by-association (because her skin is white) to the deep oppression of others.

 

I also have a very colourful and incredibly random medical record, which has never helped me feel strong or trustful of my physical form.  My 33 years in this skin have been splattered with conditions and ailments, many of which have been diagnosed as life-long through thorough testing and then seemingly disappeared into thin air months or years later (much to many a specialist’s amazement) or appeared out of nowhere in the form of a serious health event despite regular check ups.  I have received CPR from my father twice without ever being in an accident or trying to end my life, been rushed to hospital three additional times, undergone emergency surgery and fluctuated large amounts of weight in less days than it takes for nail polish to begin chipping on freshly painted nails.

 

Times like #loveyourbodyweek remind me that:

–  Throughout my life I have worked harder to own and feel comfortable in my skin than I’ve worked at anything else.

–  I’ve done the hard work in this space now, and it has changed every other part of my life and each relationship within it for the better.

–  Whether consciously aware of it or not, we are in a relationship with our body at every moment.

–  I can say that I openly love my body, deeply and wholeheartedly.

–  Old mindset pathways run deep, and there are things I can do whenever unhelpful thoughts or behaviours creep in to honour my truth and support my ongoing relationship with my physical form.

 

Here are the ten things I’ve done to revolutionise the relationship I have with my body and to learn to deeply love the earthly-vessel that is my home.

 

Note: these are the practices I’ve developed because they help ME.  Our bodies are all different, so the things that support them have the potential to be different too!  You are always welcome to contact me here to chat about this more and I encourage you to read my disclaimer, here.  I am not a doctor (and actually feel really queasy at the sight of blood when it hangs around for more than five minutes).

 

1. Forgive

your body. It is doing its best.

 

Your body is not trying to harm you, inconvenience you or damage your life in any way.  It is not trying to stifle your potential or ruin the dreams you hold in your heart.  It is working hard and doing the very best that it can to keep you alive and help you function.

 

It loves you, deeply, even when you do not love it.

 

I spent a long time learning the hard way that in hating on our bodies, punishing them, berating them or criticising the things they are either unable to do or do too much of, we may be stealing opportunities for greater self love, connection and happiness from ourselves.

 

Your body needs your forgiveness.  It is aching for it.  Waiting for it.  For all the times it has let you down, it has come through for you too.  You are still here, beautiful one.  And I’m grateful for that.

 

 

2. Acknowledge

what your body does.

 

Your body is full of an estimated 37 trillion cells (thanks Dr. Karl ) and every single one of them is working around the clock solely for you.

 

Embracing what you’ve got with gratitude creates space for celebration.

 

Your body keeps a heart beating at around 60-100 beats per minute in every minute of every day.  It has a brain with about 200 billion neurons – each sending up to 1000 nerve impulses per neuron per second.  It creates approximately 1 – 2 litres of saliva and grows hair every day.  And this is just the tip of the iceberg in relation to the things that it does and can do.

 

Every time you pick something up with a part of your body – whatever it is – it is a win.  Each breath that fills your lungs is a marvel.  Each sneeze, a saviour.  Each hair, a creation.  Your body is a miraculous vessel that allows you to do EVERYTHING that you do on this earth.  And it has never quit on you.

 

 

3. Invest

in your body. It is the most valuable asset you have.

 

It can be hard to feel valuable if we are personally treating ourselves like we are not.  Already many folk are experiencing real oppressions in their day-to-day life.  Alongside external oppressions, how we treat ourselves further contributes to our collective liberation, or lack thereof.

 

Investing in your body and treating it like the valuable, precious home that it is can look like many things.

There are the things that we always hear about, such as:

–  Fuelling our body with nutrient-rich, healthy food

–  Movement

–  Restorative periods of rest and

–  Hydration

and then also things that will be unique to you and your own personal needs.

 

My clients and I often have conversations about their “non-negotiables”; that is, the three things that they know they can access in their day-to-day lives that support them to feel valuable and invested in and that they can commit to prioritising without apology amongst everything else that they are doing for themselves, their families and their communities.

For me right now, my “non-negotiables” are drinking 2L of water per day, playing piano for at least fifteen minutes at least three times each week and always creating time in my morning to dress consciously (see number six).

 

As a side-note, the photos of me in this post came out of a photoshoot I did last year because I caught myself struggling to feel strong with the latest bout of changes my body was journeying through.  I was hiding parts of myself and feeling scared to be seen as a result of some very untrue and unhelpful thought-patterns, so I backed myself into the shoot (while trembling like a flag on a windy day) as a way of leaning into the fear rather than away from it.  Petrifying, but so helpful in working through it.

 

 

 

4. Listen

to your body’s whispers.

 

Our bodies are messengers.  While they don’t always speak loudly, they do always speak.

 

Your body is communicating with you constantly.  Every tingle, ache, “gut feeling”, shift in circulation, “butterfly”, craving, spasm, surge of adrenalin etc., has a message with it.

 

Taking a few seconds of stillness to mindfully focus on each part of our body, checking in with and curiously exploring any pain, tension or sensation, can open a deeper kind of conversation with ourselves while building a more helpful and respectful dialogue of inquiry and understanding with the miraculous vessel that carries us.

 

Listening to, let alone hearing, the messages behind the whispers takes practice, but like any skill, the more you do it the easier it becomes.

 

 

5. Honour

your body’s scars.

 

I read a quote many years ago while I was still at school that said “Scars are like tattoos with better stories”.  I still have no idea who initially penned it (please do tell me if you know its author!) but I do know that it instantly made me feel much more excited about the huge scar on my leg that I’d received from burning my leg on my Dad’s motorbike exhaust when I was nine.

 

Each scar we have houses its own story – of adventure, of risk, of survival, of growth, of defiance.

Accepting them and, where we can, appreciating them for the triumphs of survival that they represent allows them to be associated with our power rather than our pain.

 

 

6. Dress

your body in honour of who you are and how you want to feel.

 

I found this framed quote in a shop years ago that reads “Know first who you are and then adorn accordingly.”

You can see it below:

 

 

I bought it straight away, not because I ever planned to dress like the silhouette, but because it was an instant reminder that clothes are more personally powerful when they are first and foremost an authentic extension of how we want to feel rather than how we choose to look.

 

If you are someone who hangs onto clothes that no longer fit you (and possibly haven’t for many years) because you feel like you “should” fit into them or you are using them as a visual reminder of how you “should” look, please take this as your permission slip to let them go.  It is not your body that is wrong for those beautiful clothes.  It is those clothes that are wrong for your beautiful body.

 

 

7. Surround 

your body with people who respect it and compare yourself to no-one.

 

Period.  There is nothing more to say here.

 

…Other than the fact that you are unique and therefore cannot be compared to anyone.  That is an amazing thing for many reasons, especially in regards to the unique contribution you are able to make in this world.  And therefore trying to compare yourself to anyone else is not only limiting yourself, but also kind of like trying to compare apples to oranges.

 

On that, here’s some fruit:

 

 

Okay, now I’m done.

 

 

8. Speak

to your body like it is a friend.

 

If we say hurtful things to someone often enough – even when there is absolutely no truth to them – that person will likely start to believe them.

 

As human beings we can be incredibly critical of ourselves and, when it comes to our bodies, some of us put ourselves down and call ourselves hurtful things in the hope that doing so will motivate us to change.

 

Bullying can exist internally just as fiercely as it does externally, and it is hard to feel good when we are telling ourselves that we are anything but.  Your voice matters.  Your acceptance matters.  Your kindness, compassion and love matters.  Always.

 

If you are saying things to yourself about your body (or anything!) that are negative or mean to the point that you wouldn’t dare say them to a friend or loved one, you do not deserve to hear them either.

 

Things to ask yourself instead:

–  What would love do?

–  If I truly honoured myself, what would happen next?

–  What does kindness look like?

–  What is more helpful?

 

 

9. Advocate

for your body’s needs.

 

If you know in your heart that you need something, don’t be scared to use your voice persistently and firmly to ensure you have access to it.  Or, if your belief system will not allow you to, find an ally who will actively advocate on your behalf.

 

Does your body tell you something is wrong?  Look into it.

 

Does a diagnosis feel incorrect?  Get a second opinion.

 

Do you know you need more sleep/water/vitamins/time with your bare feet on the earth?  Communicate it to yourself and others.

No-one can ever know your body as well as you do, and when you work hard at point four on this list and build a strong, two-way dialogue with it, the messages only you receive will prove this more and more.

 

 

10. Ask

for body-love and healing support.

 

If you feel that you would benefit from some more personalised and/or specialised support, or you or someone you know is experiencing or is at risk of experiencing an eating-related illness, there are lots of people and organisations available to support you.  They may include:

–  Me as a life and confidence coach (you can contact me directly here if you would like to book a free chat and delve deeper into what your heart is longing for right now)

–  Doctors

–  Natural healers

–  Nutritionalists

–  Counsellors

–  Psychologists

–  Organisations such as the Butterfly Foundation or equivalents in your area who specialise in assisting people experiencing eating disorders and their carers

 

Ten seconds of bravery in the way of dialling a phone number, pressing ‘send’ on an email or handing over a referral form may be the beginning of something positive, nurturing and ever-lasting for your body.  You never have to go it alone and you are so worthy of investment.

 

 

I’d love to hear from you!

Has one of these points resonated with you or is there something you do to show your body love?

Please let me know in the comments below!